Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Island Wear

Except when on a desert island, or other authentically outdoorsy excursion, this assemblage of tourist chic should not be worn. Trail shoes should stay on the trail. Unzippable legs are acceptable only when the possibility of wading through a body of water is likely. Tank tops are fine actually.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Popping the frat collar, as a young professional

Apologies for the low-quality picture. This was taken at a bar after I chased the guy down the stairs, with considerable risk to myself as his arms were bigger than my head and I don't think he'd have appreciated a guy trying to photograph him with a cell phone cam.

This gentleman is still living his fratboy glory days: rocking a pink pastel polo shirt with the collar popped up. Not that that look is necesarily acceptable during college, but there is some safety in numbers with a fraternity's fellow meatheads. Additionally, you can't underestimate the effects of repeated kegstands and beer bongs on mental processing power.

Unfortunately for this ex-fratboy, there aren't any undergrads around at this yuppie bar to help him blend in.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

you shouldn't wear...

your child as an accessory.

I took this today at the ultimate yuppie hangout, blue back square, while on my way to eat burritos and drink 1.99 beer. I saw this small child pulling his leash taut and I just couldn't help but take a picture. Schuyler did a nice job as my wingman as I snapped the photo. He almost looks defiant; I am waiting for him to pull out a pair of child safe scissors and set himself free.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Sock Wedgies

The combination of sock & sandal comes in a variety of incarnations: Birkenstock, Teva, and the dreaded thong. As we see here, both the undergarment and the footwear versions result in a perma-wedgie. The saddest part of this picture is not the unrepentant nature of the wearer but that the wearer is one of our own contributors.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Flannel? FlanNo.

Sheets, pajamas, boxers - acceptable uses of flannel.

Shirts, jackets, hats, swimsuits - unacceptable uses of flannel.

the rare breed of skech-ugg

These skech-uggs were spotted by a man who sees a lot of feet (in the running store he works in, not because he has some sort of foot fetish). This love child should have been aborted. We have already determined that many skechers are a no no, but to combine these with the equally stupid ugg is just unacceptable. Uggs are horrible on so many levels and if you are a person that wears them with your sweatpants tucked into them and have juicy written on your ass, I feel sorry for you and I will continue mocking you, both behind your back and to your face.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Flower Power Suit

It was another typical morning commute, from the burbs to downtown DC, when all of a sudden, she waltzed onto the metro. I thought that a lamp shade or some wallpaper had jumped out of an old 70’s movie. This was too good to be true. I took out my phone camera, and snapped two quick pics. I would have done a whole shoot, but was starting to get some ugly looks from fellow metro-riders who realized I was taking pictures (I couldn’t figure out how to turn off my phone’s “click” sound). I'm not sure either that my cell phone really does the color scheme justice.

As if this ensemble of a flower-print skirt suit weren’t bad enough, the pink crocs the woman is wearing throw this fashion faux pas into the stratosphere. I really hope her job has nothing to do with aesthetics, because she won’t last long.

Thursday, April 3, 2008