Male Jean Shorts

Location: Miller Park, Milwaukee, WI.
Photographer(s): Katie and friends
Offense: jean shorts, circa 1991.
Comments: It's not that all jean shorts are bad. Some are trendy cut-off bermuda shorts worn by girls. Others are little booty shorts worn by girls. But these aren't those. And they're not on a girl.





[UPDATE:]
More examples of jean shorts gone terribly terribly wrong, courtesy of JD.

White and Brown make Beige

This delightful specimen was spotted recently in Cherry Hill, NJ at the IRA Regatta. It's uncertain whether or not this man makes a habit of wearing crisp white crew socks with his loafers on a regular basis or if this was done in some misbegotten attempt to fit in while in The Dirty Jers' and/or at a crew regatta. Unfortunately, based on his general confidence level and nonchalant stride, I suspect this is a common footwear choice for him. Also, I think he's probably from Long Island. I just got that feeling. Regardless, don't wear white socks with your brown (or black) shoes. Wherever you are. Alex, I'm looking at you.

The Happy Couple

This couple was spotted wandering the Allentown service station on the Pennsylvania turnpike Friday afternoon. Things that they should not be wearing:
1. fanny packs
2. glasses around their neck
3. those sandals
4. that hair-do
5. shirts that make you look like a watermelon

Urban Cowboy Hipster Chimera.

I don't think there is really anything else to say.

Flashdance...

It's not that I'm against girls showing shoulders. I am against the off-the-shoulder sweatshirt though. If she had cut the neck out of this sweater herself I would have asked for Irene Cara's autograph. But she actually bought it that way. It's also nice that her friend chose to class up the joint by wearing a plain white t-shirt. Oh what a feeling.

Don't Accessorize Your Sausage Arms

Why would you do this to yourself?

That stretchy armlet would have gotten her up here regardless, but the little squeeze of her arm fat just ices my cake. And I suspect her cupcake as well.

Island Wear

Except when on a desert island, or other authentically outdoorsy excursion, this assemblage of tourist chic should not be worn. Trail shoes should stay on the trail. Unzippable legs are acceptable only when the possibility of wading through a body of water is likely. Tank tops are fine actually.